Favorite Quotes (from Movies/Music/etc.)

So I'm trying to keep the "Everything Else" forum alive.

Browsing through VS's movie thread, I thought of movie quotes and remembered some awesomely good and equally awesomely bad movie quotes. List your favorite quotes (from movies, music, stand up comedy) here!

"Hasta la vista, baby."

• Terminator 2

"I have had it with these motherf***in snakes on this motherf***in plane!"

"Well that's good news. Snakes on crack."

• Snakes on a Plane

"Pop quiz, hotshot!"

• Speed

"Does Wayne Brady have to choke a b*tch?"

"Byah!"

• Chappelle's Show

"Hey baby! Go home! Stop sellin weed; you got yo whole life ahead of ya!"

"B*tch I got kids to feed!"

• Dave Chappelle stand up

"Dogs are forever in the push-up position."

• Mitch Hedberg stand up *RIP*

"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for.'”

• Tupac Shakur

"Drop the gun, take the canoli"

• The Godfather

"Do you know Marcellus Wallace?!"

• Pulp Fiction

"You talkin' to me?"

• Taxi Driver

"Hey boy, I like the way you looking in them jeans"

• Eddie Murphy (Delerious, impersonating Mr. T, if you haven't seen it, youtube it!)

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn"

• Gone With The Wind (Nothing really special about the quote itself, just the fact that it was the 1960s equivalent to 'I don't give a f*ck)

That's some for now, I'll think of a few more and put em up.

LOL that Eddie Murphy one's hilarious.

I thought of another one.

"F*ck Jeff Goldblum."

• Pineapple Express

I love that movie, lol. Stoner classic.

Ahh Pineapple Express, very funny movie. I've never had weed before so I can't really relate to some of the jokes but the overall humour is great.

Here's a quote:

"And I'm Ron Burgunday. Go f*ck yourself, San Diego"

I laughed so hard at that scene!! Classic line!

"What do we have that all the others don't? TWIN DONGS!" - Blades of Glory

"Give them nothing, but take from them everything!" - 300

"You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus." - Step Brothers

"I've traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!" - Step Brothers

"People say crazy sh** during sex. One time I called this girl "Mom." - Clerks

"say hello to my little friend" - scarface

"Let's see if you bastards can do 90!"

• Back to the Future (speaking of which, this scene was shot in my, and Fergie's, hometown of Hacienda Heights)

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."

"If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball."

"'L' for Love!"

"And will someone catch a goddamn ball? It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!"

• Dodgeball (one of the greatest movies of all time)

"Do you like apples? Well how'd you like them apples??"

Good will Hunting

"hhmm, ooohh, hhhmmm, aahhhh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!!

When Harry met Sally

I do like that font work. Great job, bloke!

I haven't seen Good Will Hunting yet, but I've seen that scene. I'd like to think I'm smooth like that too. Of course, some days I think I'm the GM of the Lakers, so obviously I'm on crack.

"Goonie goo goo."

• Eddie Murphy (Delirious)

LOL. His stand up's hilarious.

"The king stay the king" - D'Angelo from The Wire

and every single word that has come out of Dave Chappelle's mouth

"Show me the MONEY!" and "You complete me." - Jerry McGuire

Absolutely. Delirious and Raw are still some of the best stand up I've seen. I do prefer Delirious but they're both soooo funny!

I love when Eddie imitates his dad at the end of Delirious, that is some awesome sh*t!! haha

"Lilian! The b*tch fell down the stairs again!!"

"I don't wanna kiss her?"

"Why not?"

"Cos she's got a moustache!"

You know what, I'm gonna go watch Delirious now!

Hot Lips Houlihan: Oh my God! They've shot him!

Henry Blake: Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop! It's the end of the quarter!

My least favorite: You complete me.

To be considered the most cloyingly mellifluous bunch of maudlin hogwash that a man has ever said to a woman. Every time I hear it I have a hard time keeping down my dinner.

"LOUD NOISES!!" - Anchorman

"I'm in a glass case of EMOTION!"

• Anchorman

Lawls. I yell that everytime someone calls me and asks where I am whenever I'm driving.

And L4K, thanks for introducing me to the awesome world of Eddie Murphy stand up. He's HILARIOUS.

"It's an actual James Brown lyric. 'Hm, I need to put a word here...HEY!'"

"Cocaine is one hell of a drug"

"and that children was the first time I sucked dick for crack"

"**** Nick Cannon"

"White people like Wayne Brady because he makes Brian Gumbel look like Malcolm X. "

and of course "Im Rick James *****!!!"

• hundreds more

Did you guys all forget about the greatest of all time?

Friday...

"I got these cheeseburgers MAAAANNN!!!! Please!!! I'll suck yo ****!!" - Don't be a Menace

"And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then!!!!!" - Dude where's my car?

"i got mind control over deebo, he be like shut da f*ck up, i be quiet. . . .but when he leaves. . . . i be talkin again" - Smokey from the movie friday

"and you know this...MAANNN!

• smokey

A music quote:

I'm not a businessman; I'm a business, man. Let me handle my business, damn.

• "Diamonds Are Forever (Remix)" Jay-Z

Look at the valedictorian; scared of the future while I hop in the DeLorean.

• "Good Morning" Kanye West

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name. Nobody came.

Father McKenzie, wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave. No one was saved.

Look at all the lonely people.

• "Eleanor Rigby" The Beatles

And now I wonder how i was made...

my arms, my legs, my heart, my face,

my name is Driftwood.

• "Driftwood: A Fairy Tale" Cursive

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."

• General Kilgore, Apocalypse Now

"Do you suck d*ck son?"

"Sir, no, Sir!"

"Bullsh*t, I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose!"

• Full Metal Jacket

"I'm going to give you 3 seconds. Exactly 3 f*cking seconds to get up on your feet or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-f*ck you!"

• Full Metal Jacket

Not a comedy, but the Full Metal Jacket lines always make me laugh.

"How tall are you private?"

"Sir, five foot nine, sir!"

"Five foot nine, I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high!"

Lols.

"What do they call you? Wheels?" - X-Men (Wolverine to Professor X)

"I have nipples, can you milk me?" - The dad on Meet the Parents

"And I know, everybody knows you try to be like me. But even at your best as a man you couldn't equal half of me." - Godsmack (The Enemy)

"I hate Hugh Jackman"

• Dr. Cox from Scrubs

"It's guy love! There's nothing gay about it."

• JD & Turk from Scrubs

"Can't touch this! Except for you. You can touch me."

• Peter from Family Guy

"You just got knocked the **** out!" smokey

• Rocky Balboa

Rocky's still inspiring even after, what, 33 years?

Landfill: It's magical.

Fink: It's laughing at me.

Barry: I wish I could brush my teeth with it.

Landfill: I wanna put my d*ck in it.

Fink: I want it to put it's d*ck in me!

Barry: I wish it were winter. Then we can make it into ice blocks and skate on it. And then melt it in the spring time and drink it!

• Beerfest

"ARIGHT!!! A SEAT AT THE TABLE!!!"

*CRASH!* (Lattimer smashes his head into a bunch of car windows and screams with blood running down his face)

• Lattimer from "The Program".

"I am Ripper... Tearer... Slasher... Gouger. I am the Teeth in the Darkness, the Talons in the Night. Mine is Strength... and Lust... and Power! I AM BEOWULF!"

• Beowulf

Goodfellas...

"Never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut."

"...And our son, Simon. Simon's not so smart. He was born with a peanut in his head"

-Mr. Hankey (South Park)

"He defends, and scores! Who the hell does that? Its like...Damn! I cant score, and he about to bust my a**!"

-Stephon Marbury on Kobe LOL

"If you put an 'S' in front of 'Hitman' you have my exact thoughts on him!" - Stone Cold Steve Austin on Bret Hart

Lawls. Oo I know, here's a quote from the greatest entertainer in pro wrestling history.

"I'll be sure to come back when the Lakers beat the Kings in May."

• The Rock

"I can't wear skinny jeans cause my nuts dont fit"

• Jay-Z

LOL

Lol. Wasn't he singing when he said that line too?

I'll take you to the top

Of this building and just push you off

Run down the stairs so I can see

Your face as you hit the street

• Your Cute When You Scream, Senses Fail

Rid Of Me - PJ Harvey

"Lick my legs, I'm on fire,

Lick my legs of desire,

I'll tie your legs,

keep you against my chest,

Oh, you're not rid of me,

yeah, you're not rid of me,

I'll make you lick my injuries,

I'm gonna twist your head off, see...."

You Oughta know - Alanis Morissette

"Is she perverted like me,

Would she go down on you, in a theatre?"

"It was a slap in the face, how quickly I was replaced

and are you thinking of me when you f**k her?"

The A**hole Song - Jude

"I'm almost a tall guy

And fairly good looking

So people they trust me but sometimes they're wrong

I have often wondered

Which one was the taller

My old alexander or kubla khan

And would they watch you cry

Goodbye, I'm an a**hole"

If you should ever leave me

Though life would still go on believe me

The world could show nothing to me

So what good would living do me

God only knows what I'd be without you

The Beach Boys - God Only Knows

Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I

JIZZ IN MY PANTS

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I

JIZZED IN MY PANTS

I just ate a grape and I

JIZZED...IN...MY PANTS

The Lonely Island - Jizz In My Pants

"Why don't you have a seat over there?"

• Chris Hansen from 'To Catch a Predator'

"Hey goat, I like your beard."

• Mark Wahlberg

"Why so serious?"

-Joker, The Dark Knight

"Make your own luck"

-Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight

"Ill never hit a girl but I'll shake the **** out of you"

-Kanye West, "Bittersweet"

Andre Nickatina:

And I'm out

Half a blunt hanging out my mouth

Speeding like a demon on 101 South

"Do me yo-yo master!" - 40 Year Old Virgin

"Babe, babe, babe, BAAAAAAAAAAABE, babe, babe." - Hot Rod

"Scissor me Xerxes!!!" - South Park

Some luvey dubby stuff:

"And I always thought that you havin my child was our destiny"

-Kanye West

^^ Man, Kanye's got some gems.

I don't know if you know, but this actually comes from Chris Rock's stand-up comedy. Forgot which one. But he's freaking hilarious; one of the best stand up comedians of our time.

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."

"A man is only as faithful as his options."

• Chris Rock

"Why don't you make like a tree and get the f*ck out of here?"

• The Boondock Saints

"I'm a goat and I eat my own milk!"

"F*ck your thoughts!"

-The Spill Crew

"Well, im gonorrhea."

-Jim Carrey, Yes MAN

"Not YOU! Fat Jesus..."

-The Hangover

LMAO... what a hillarious movie!

Currently my favorite quote:

"BREAKING NEWS! One time All-Star Forward Ron Artest reportedly going to the Lakers."